When seeking to change habits as a willing and determined individual, removing roadblocks and lowering barriers is one particularly good way to achieve progress. Let’s face it, whether we are a youth addicted to social media or a senior addicted to soap operas, changing behavior is never easy. Research suggests that turning a bad habit into a good one requires around 10-15 weeks. So, if you are a chocoholic, that would mean abstaining for that amount of time. At Healthrageous, we see seniors wanting to remove excessive salt from their diets, who take at least a month to recalibrate their taste buds. After that conversion, they embrace a diet with reduced sodium, which obviously is better for their chronic heart disease.
Calming tensions played out on the battlefield is more difficult. In war time diplomatic interchanges, poorly trained negotiators often assume that if they offer evidence that is factually based, they will win the day. Were we to reach negotiations between Ukraine and Russia, you could imagine each country starting with a set of demands. Relying on verbal or written persuasion is less likely to resolve peace negotiations. Most effective negotiators, however, know that by active listening and seeking to earn trust, they are moving in the right direction.
Now let’s consider an adult child trying to convince an elderly parent to adopt a new way of living, while abandoning a deleterious lifestyle habit (smoking, eating too much red meat, consuming alcohol). Now matter how good this change may be to the health of an adult, resistance is as predictable as a morning sunrise.
Most of us lean into resisting persuasion. In other words, when that adult daughter is trying to convince Mom, now living alone, that socializing has proven to be of great value to one’s longevity and health, Mom pushes back. In Apple TV’s Shrinking, a well-meaning daughter attempts to convince her Dad (played by Harrison Ford) – newly diagnosed with Parkinson’s – to cross the country and move in with her husband and son. He may eventually see his daughter’s concern as a good thing, but initially, he’s a psychologist who is being counseled by his child. There are at least four factors compelling him to spurn his daughter’s advice – his ego, a desire to be the parent offering advice, his therapeutic training and lived experience of 30 more years on the planet. All come into play in beating back the caring offer from his daughter. Such advice to parents in those examples, is generally poorly received.
Now reflect on the persuasive impact of zany TikTok videos: Jumping off roofs, eating Tide pods, etc. The #1 trend this week is “Dumb Ways to Die.” Imagine being influenced by this!! Which brings me to this blog’s topic – Change Ain’t Easy. We at Healthrageous pride ourselves on knowing when to remove unwanted and meddlesome friction and when to endow our seniors with agency and control. Study after study has revealed the downside of stripping all control from aging seniors; even if it is intended to make life easier.
When empowered, we have a sense of agency that sustains our desire for independent living. For instance, were you to allow Seniors in the dementia ward to choose between two different house plants for their rooms, they would be pleased. By making that decision for them, you increase the likelihood of a dead houseplant with a not-bought-in owner. This issue is paramount in Oregon, where right to die laws require the person seeking assisted suicide to be in control and of sound mind.
When choosing weekly meal options, Healthrageous healthy eaters can pick and choose from:
Healthrageous meets them where they are – either empowered or seeking hassle-free options. Change ain’t easy; but attention to our predictably human irrationality makes sense. By offering choice and not imposing decisions, we’ve found we can go a long way in getting others to accept our suggestions
To learn more about Healthrageous’ Made Easy Meals – including some of our meal choices – click HERE to get more information.
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